Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Orient's Voice @ Food Loft

What's a blogger's meet?

Blogger A: Hi! I'm Rocker Underscore Jim. What's your name?
Blogger B: Hi Rocker Underscore Jim! I'm Lalaland Adventures.
Rocker_Jim: El-o-el! What a cute name for your blog!
Lalaland: Hehe. How's life?
Rocker_Jim: It's good, I got 87 visitors yesterday, and so far traffic's increasing. Managed to get 2 more people to link my blog and oh, yesterday, I received 13 comments for my post about my meal!

Okay, that's imaginary, but honestly I don't think I can fit in.

But Nuffnang lured me with free food. And it's universal truth, rule of the thumb that Chinese can't resist freebies. That explains why I attended last Saturday's The Orient's Voice.

And here's the official pure unadulterated review (I don't write to kiss ass), complete with numbers.

1. Arrival
The truth is, the coolest dude on the net could be the geekiest fatuous dork. Yes, bloggers look, behave, talk and act differently from what you might expect.

I saw a late 20s geek with shirt tucked up real high, supposedly macho blogger rolling his eyes when given a sarcastic comment and supposedly pretty chicks looking, well, un-Photoshopped. You'll never know, I might be a freaking faggot too. But I'm not, okay?

2. Seated Down
The first thing to do when you're there is to spot them celebrity bloggers when you're there. So you'll get lots of "Oh look! It's __________!(enter blogger's name)" Reply by saying "Where? Where? That one? Oh my God!" as if you just saw Jessica Alba nude. And you know what, this happened when my tablemate was blogger spotting.

Tablemate: Hey, that's 5 times Mom!
Passerby: *paused in front of our table* Ahem, it's 5 'X' Mom.
Tablemate: Ohh... *looks in awe*

I felt like I was sitting in a chess club annual meeting, and I actually might be able to talk like Rocker_Jim over there after all.

3. Chow Time
Do you know that bloggers say grace before taking their meal? By taking out their cameras and snapping a photo or two of their dishes before consuming it.

Imagine the whole restaurant doing that, and camera flashes everywhere. Me? I took two bites before I took a picture. Forgive me, Blord.

4. After Meal Together Gather
More flashes flashing off. Camwhores shone in full glory, followed by a Q&A quiz session. The first question had me confirmed my deviation with the rest;

MC: Name me a blogger's important tool.
Me: *thinking* Computer.
Someone: Camera!
MC: Correct!

Heck, I did not even bring my camera along. Now they were making me feel unwelcome.

5. The After-Party
Clubbing? Shopping? Go for a movie?

No, a blogger's after party simply means more photo sessions.

Now it seems to me that I'm attending a modeling & photography club meeting. Look beautiful. Look Photoshoppable.

All-in-all? The food's great. Yummy.

Friday, June 22, 2007

2nd Day Get Fit Program Report & A Rewarding Encounter

The ultimate fitness plan: park my car at Youth Park, jog over to Botanical Garden, do 2 laps around Botanical Garden, and head back to Youth Park.

What happened: parked my car at Youth Park, jogged to Botanical Garden, and behold; I was distracted already... it's just the second day and I'm disappointed with myself that I.. I failed to keep up with the plan.

But for a good reason, that is!

Guess who was there outside of Botanical Garden's huge gate? The Fly FM's Perodua Troopers! And they were there handing out freebies, t-shirts, Maroon 5 CDs etc, and how could I not stop over to keypo? Heh heh.

Slowly people started to crowd around them, but it ain't exactly the right crowd I'd say.

There's this huge bunch of Jay-Chou worshipping kung fu fighting kids. Well, that's what I call 'em Chinese Ed lads who ignorantly don't speak English at all, those that when asked what's your favorite radio station, they answered in unison "Fry Eff Em!".

And there was the "Can you give me t-shirt brother? Collar t-shirt? Brother I want t-shirt can ah" uncles who had just finished their daily mountain climbing routine. When asked to name two deejays from Fly, they answered Fly Guy and one even mentioned Patrick Teoh.

Also there's this kopitiam ahpek who grabbed as much F&N Orange can drinks as he could, in which he would sell for RM1.60 each.

And there was me. I don't wanna lose out in getting the freebies. And yes I do deserve them freebies. I've been listening to Fly FM all along! Yes, a valid reason to shorten my jog today.

Well guys, these are the successful loot from yesterday;

T-shirt, Thermal flask, car sticker, postcards and Men's Health

The T-shirt! My favorite loot of the day! But when I looked closer...

What the hell, XS?!

Any of you gals out there interested to have the t-shirt since it's freakin' tiny? I'll give it out for free, all you need to do is just send me a pic of yourself in the sluttiest look you can don. Videos are accepted too.

A thermal flask!

Goldmember's not so glamorous spare, Silvermember.

But it has got "Segi college" printed on it.

Misspelled saggy.

Should I stick this on my front windscreen or at the back?

I've seen an idiot sticking the inner side of the sticker on the outside.

Tons of postcards, into the recycling bin you go.

Or maybe can use to lapik the bottom of my sling bag?

Any chick(s) wanna clarify the validity of the tips with me? :p

Hannah Tan's one happy lucky chick.

And yea, dammit I did not win that Maroon 5 CD, thanks to the hamsap trooper who handed it over to one of the female kung fu fighter (shen me si Mah ron wu?) Dammit, go worship your Jay Chous and Lee Homs and David Taos and leave good music where it's supposed to be, that's with me!

Nevermind lah, hopefully she'll pick up English from that album.

Ahhh, told you guys jogging is a rewarding activity!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Back On Track

Wednesday, 20th June 2007 will go down into the history of this blog and will be read by everyone all over the world.

It is because today, just like any other ordinary day, is not just another day, but a very special day. (I don't know what I'm talking about)

It's not the day I win RM17mil lottery, it's not the day I win a brand new yellow Perodua Viva, it's not the day I ate 3 Ramli burgers and NO! it's not the day I found new love.

It's much better. (okay, okay, all except the RM17mil.)

Ladies and gentlemen, on this very day, history is made. Something old and long buried has been revived. A practice that was put to grave. But it's back. Oooh yeah.

Hold your breath - Now breathe out - Breathe in - Hold it again - (Repeat x600)

I jogged today.

That's right folks! After slugging for months, I'm finally back to the tracks, feeling fresh and ready to do the miles.

Though my thigh muscles and ankle joints aren't responding as well to my new sudden surge of sweat-it-out urge, I ain't holding nothing back from regaining my fitness, and better yet; to be fitter.

When I grow up, I wanna run just like Wanster!

And guys, the reason for this entry; for you guys to remember this day is so that I would push myself to do it. I have a goal to achieve, and a dateline to meet; I wanna be trim & firm & un-alienlike by November.

Yes, that will be my ultimate goal for this year, and my best birthday gift for myself. And you guys here are gonna be my witness.

I'm gonna feature myself topless come November. (gulp)

And if I still look like a lazy couch potato, I'm gonna rename this blog to be, erm, erm, something something nasty like, maybe The LOSER's Blog. (gulp again)

Greeted with gates wide open. Penang Botanical Garden

People, this is important to me. I've been running all along but I was never there, at the fitness level that I really wanted because of my procrastinating self and laziness. Because of that, all those hours spent sweating it out were done in vain.

I ain't letting that happen again.

And guys, muscular ones especially, your suggestions and advices are most welcomed. Girls too, but I'd prefer to get 'encouragement' from ya'll in deeds or videos would be perfect. :D

Goodbye, flabby tummy. I don't love you, like I did yesterday. Now where the hell did I put that can of Pringles...

Monday, June 18, 2007

Just Three Weeks Into Work And...

  • I'm plagued with pimples & blemishes. One on my left side of the nose, another on the right side. I look like I have two nose piercings.
  • I look more and more like an alien. My body, that is. Time spent sitting on the cursed chair, reducing my mobility hours caused the growth of my stomach and the shrinkage of my arms' diameters. Anybody have Marie France Bodyline's number?
Thank God I don't have a tail yet.
  • I eat like the Jalan Jalan Cari Makan host. I feel hungry every 2-3 hours, and I eat 4 times per 9-6. I munch on anything edible upon sighting. Except for dried plums, they taste like office paper.
  • I realized that I accidentally ate office paper.
  • I abandoned my blog not because I had nothing to write but I had too much to say and no time to pour it out. I even wonder who am I writing this for now.
  • I only reached the 100th page of a book after I started reading it a week ago. Never knew that Dan Brown writes good bed time stories.
  • I realized that I hate working. Marry me, rich woman whoever you are, whatever your jeans size.

    You *mmph* take my breath away, darling.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Kehidupan Pekerja Yang Keboringan

Working life sucks. (I'm so tempted to take out the word "life".)

You have to wake up early in the morning, dress in uncomfortable clothes (which I don't quite mind, cuz I look good, but hell), waste your youth fighting thru traffic before you get to your hell's pit hole.

There you'll spend hours staring into the computer, doing whatever you're supposed to until it is time for you to help increase traffic density again.

You have no time for ladies night or any nights out because you dislike to be called into the boss's office for dozing off during one of your lengthy meetings. In the end you realized that the only friend you have is the cactus plant next to your keyboard.

You'll also discover that you have an insatiable hunger. You'll eventually feel hungry every 2 hours, and eating tit bits will be your new hobby.

Within weeks, you'll discover that your body is out of shape, but you have no time to do anything with it. As weeks turn into months, you'll discover that you're an obese and you've given up hope on fitting into that slim-fit tee ever again.

And as months turn into years, you'll be shocked to know that you're suffering from diabetes and cardiac related diseases. You'll really love to lose those pounds, but at the same time you've gotta work overtime so that you can afford the medical bills.

And as years turn into a couple of years more, you find yourself dead.

Sad isn't it?

Thank God I'm only working for only a month. For now.

I'd better spend my 2 more remaining care free years wisely. I mean, unwisely.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Simpleton Quote

Teens who think that abortion, sleeping around, having multiple sex partners and outsmarting their parents are perfectly normal just because they watch it on One Tree Hill are like dumb kids who think that they can fly after watching Superman.

Although the chicks look hot, the show is still dumb. One episode is more than enough.