Saturday, April 28, 2007

What's Your Happy Song?

My fourth semester had come to an end hours ago. I just finished my last paper, Thermodynamics and I didn't do as well as I thought I could. Watching another A slips away from my firm grasp sure do break my heart. Well, there's nothing that I can do now, except to...


Yea, screw the papers, let bygones be bygones, marks gone be marks gone, I've got a super long break ahead of me!

No lectures to sleep through, no assignments to copy, no security retards to check on my car sticker every time I drive through the main gate... Whee!

Nananana, nanana, nananaNA!
Nananana, nanana, nana,
I'll be there for you!

Everybaaaadi-yeh! Yea-eh! Rawck ya baaaadi-yeh! Yee-eh! Everybaaaadi-yeh! Rawck ya baaaadi rite! Backstreets back, orite!! Dum dum dum dadadum, dum dadadum..

We wish you, a Merry Christmas,, we wish you, a Merry Christmas... We WISH you, a Merry Christmas! And a happy new year!!

I've got joy joy joy, in the bottom of my heart, singing Hallelujah Amen!

Smack that! All on the floor! Smack that! Gimme some more! Smack that! Til you get sore! Smack that! OoooOOOooohHH!

I know this post is rather random and silly, but mind you, this is called sharing the joy. The joy of being examless. Heheh syok giler. And all those songs up there, oh those are my happy songs, songs that will just pour out from my lips when I'm in a freaking joyous mood. Ohh yeah.

Do you have a happy song too? Bet you do.

Wooohooo... wheEEEeehooo!! I wanna get away, to our sweet escape!


Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sexy & Slutty 2

Okay, so the whole sexy-slutty thing has got my brain cells something to chew on for some time, thanks to some of you comment-ers who got me pondering.

After giving it much thought and enduring thru sleepless nights of research, hours spent watching porn and reading Penthouse, I finally discovered that there is a difference after all, between sexy and slutty.

It's quite complicated actually, as it involves phase changes, the time, space and continuum theory, so please clear your thoughts and concentrate.

As far as I know, sexy is a term you use when you just started to date your girlfriend. You compliment her by saying "You look sexy in that red dress" or "You sweet sexy lil' thing".

But down the road after months or years of dating, that word seems to evolve into, slutty. You say things like "You look slutty in that red lingerie" and "Who's my lil' slut?" will be commonly used.

And in the end of it, you'll use the word slutty again after you two broke up. "She's just another slutty bitch", you tell your friends. "That slutty lil' whore ain't worth crying after", you tell yourself.

And surprise, surprise, just when you thought that you'll never utter that four letter S word again, you suddenly bump into her at the mall, and you can't help but say to yourself "Damn she looks sexy", or maybe "Why she didn't look this sexy back then".

Done. Call it, Wanster's Sexy Theory. Or Sexy Wanster's Theory. Also can.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I Got Pirated

Malaysia, the land of diversities, opportunities and piracy has just proved it's capability again in reproducing original works of others. In this case, it's my work who's got pirated.

Is it my thesis? No, too young for that.

My singing? No, I'm Wanster, definitely not a Gemini who sings.

My private videos? No, they're all locked in a safe in an undisclosed location, somewhere in my hard drive.

So what the hell is it then?

Don't look left nor right but look right ahead. Yes, THE Blog was pirated! (Aumygawdd!)

Ahem *clears throat*

Ladies and gentlemen, we are facing a major threat in the blogosphere today. The pirates are invading, and it's an inevitable fact that we, are not prepared for it. And if we are to not take this threat seriously as we should, all I can see is darkness...

Carbon copied entries on every single site... Boredom of reading the same post over and over again... Ladies and gentlemen, we must act NOW, if not we'll never make it past midnight.

Okay lah, enough of all the pseudo-Hollywood drama, it ain't that serious lah.

It's my blog entry, way back last year about Starbucks that got pirated. *Click here and read*

By who? I also dunno. But you can see his plagiarized work here. *Click here and re-read*

Now am I angry? Of course, no.

Pissed? Already, in the toilet bowl.

Heck, I just feel, pirated.


He could've been a lil' more considerate by at least seeking my approval before copying my work. And maybe be a lil' more original, by writing his own dialogs, instead of copying every bits of my words down right to the very last full stop?

Sigh. I'll be praying for you, Calvin for originality and creativity to overflow in your brain. Meanwhile, pray for me I'm facing a shitty week full of exams.

Yup fellas, that means lesser updates, but while you're waiting for updates you may show me some love by spamming and slamming Calvinb's blog. Nop, I've said it already, I'm not angry. SPAM HIM GAO GAO! :)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Definition Of Sexy And Slutty

Have you ever thought of the difference between sexy and slutty?

Before we start our discussion, allow yourself to evaluate this model and decide for yourself, whether is she sexy or slutty.

What say you? Keep it to yourself first.

I've heard endless arguments about how a girl can dress sexy but not slutty at the same time. And how slutty, does not equal sexy all the time. Confusing.

Doesn't both the words carry the same meaning? It's just used at different situations.

For example, when boys and girls talk to one another, they will mention "Sarah looked so damn sexy in that dress".

But when there's only boys in the group, they will say "Sarah looked so slutty in that dress. Her boobs is flashing like holy cow!". Let's put the full stop there and not reveal further details about how a healthy constructive male conversation goes.

They convey the same message, just that sexy is a politically correct term to use.

A quick search thru WordWeb dictionary defined sexy as "marked by or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest". Now tell me what is slutty then? A behaviour which arouse sexual desire or interest, right?

Now if you're still not convinced, let me prove it to you mathematically. Think Pussycat Dolls. They sexy or slutty? Girls will shout "SEXY! GO GIRL POWER!" while boys will moan "UMMPH SLUTTY..". When we solve the simultaneous equation;

Pussycat Dolls = Sexy
Pussycat Dolls = Slutty

Hence Sexy = Slutty.

End of argument.

And back to the picture above, sexy or slutty? Same lah guys, she makes you wanna rip her lingeries off and fornicate her, right?

I think I have proved my case beyond reasonable doubt that sexy is just a nicer representation of slutty.

So girls, if a guy ever slurred saying that you're slutty, relax and rejoice; it's a compliment. Now any of you slutty bitches wanna argue with me?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Finding Peace In The Midst Of A Storm

We find ourselves trapped in a world full of disturbances and noise that simply has got the potential to drive us paranoia.

The rat race, expectations to meet, dreams to chase and the constant distressful rumblings a war-prone world. Peace and tranquility seem to be an ocean's apart, and we barely can touch it's shore.

Real peace comes from within, as I have heard of it once from a sermon some time ago. Peace that comforts you in the most uptight situation. The absence of emotional agitation in the thick of a dissonance. Keeping calm despite being surrounded by an anarchistic atmosphere.

Hearing nothing despite the noise.

Feeling comfort despite the heat.

To fall asleep in that place and to bear that kinda noise, he must have achieved the highest level of nirvana.

Don't be offended, Swee Heng; and all you F1 fans. :)

Monday, April 16, 2007

Semi-Conscious = Cute

I think I'm not the only one.

I admit to it, that I helplessly fall for girls with B cup anteriors adore girls who are babbling when they're still half asleep. I find it, cute. There's somehow some kawaii factor in it, that makes me grin in a pervertic way.

Girls are just so adorable when they talk with their eyes closed, completely blur, saying just whatever that goes thru their semi-conscious mind and shutting up after that. They don't process what they want to say and what you get is pure unadulterated heart pour. Well, maybe the only time you get the whole (shocking) truth from them.

Me: Get out of bed, let's go for dim sum!
Girl: * What time now..? *
Me: 6.30am.
Girl: Crazy * * so eerrli..
Me: Get changed, and let's go. I'm hungry.
Girl: * * I'm not hungry. I had 2 dicks yesterday. Go eat on your own. Night. * * *
Me: ! * ! * ! *

Aint making this up.

Sometimes as they sleep talk they would even blurt out their inner most desire to you. Maybe they're trying to drop a hint.

Me: Good morning! Wanna go for dim sum?
Girl: What you want.. I sleeping halfway you wake me up I dowan to see light my pillow eye patch.. Fuck you..
Me: When?
Girl: Tommorow.
Me: Dim sum?
Girl: Fuck.

I knew it, I knew it, I'm good looking!

Well the funniest thing of the whole shebang is, they will sound different from their actual voice when they are awake.

Me: Hello... You're still asleep?
Girl: *Snort* Yaaaa... *Snort*
Me: 12 already! Get your ass off the bed! And you sound funny.
Girl: *Snort* Shut up.
Me: Oh God! You sound like Sean Paul! Haha!
Girl: No I don't.
Me: Haha.. Say another line!
Girl: It's fun de none to have block de nose *snort* sexiness! *snort* Now that's Sean Paul. And I want to sleep.
Me: You amaze me. Good bye.
Girl: Good night.

But then anti-climax would be them claiming that they don't remember what happened earlier. Most would even claim that they were not aware of any phone calls. Or, they'll deny that they said anything silly.

Girl: Hah? You got call me meh?
Me: Yea, and what happened yesterday night? Threesome? *grin*
Girl: What threesome? Hahaha hey, fair weather!

Yea, fair weather, nice sky, and you're a virgin, right?

Girl: You called? You do that again, I'll kill you! But I don't remember lah, hahaha.
Me: Well, do you remember our little date today?
Girl: Yea, I'd rather date a butcher.
Me: Don't deny it lah.
Girl: Siao.

See, girls are much much more difficult when they are conscious.

But at times, they can get real difficult:

Girl: HOI! You siao ah call me so early!
Me: 12 o'clock, you call it early?
Girl: Bloody hell! People sleeping you know! Some more what Sean Paul ha? (cubit)
Me: Wahlao wahlao! Okay okay! Won't call you in this lifetime anymore!

You don't want them to remember.

Well guys, give it a try. Call one of your hot friends early in the morning and listen to them. Will definitely make you smile (kawaii!) or maybe you'll get an expose about their, interesting life that you know not of.

And I hereby declare that I take no responsibility for the increase in frequency of morning calls, girls. Just be thankful that you got one, it means either you're cute or your life is interesting.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Back To JB

"To all my peeps down in Jay-Bee, throw your hands up if ya'll feel me" Jac Victor, Ipoh Mali.

I wonder how many JB folks actually listen to English songs, let alone local songs.

After a short 1 week break in my beloved Penang, I'm going back to my shit hole for my finals. Well, didn't do much when I was back in Penang cuz most of my friends were busy nerding themselves for the finals. Boy I need to study badly. Well, after this drink, maybe :D

So what did I do back in Penang? Well, I watched Shooter, squirm on my clean bed, visited granduncle and grandaunt, bought Touch n' Go card (it has a very nostalgic name indeed), finished Lost Season 1, rode the old EX5 bike and went for a big gulp yesterday with WH and Eve. And WH's crazy friends who use beer as mixer for whiskey. For the first time I can drift when I walk. Crazy terrible headache I had this morning.

So, back to the shit hole tonight. Where life is all about studying and playing DotA is considered as some kind of leisure. Come to think of it I'm quite thankful that I'm there, a place with limited entertainment so that I can study. Yup, I'm still that carefree guy who cannot manage his time or strike any balance between studying and leisure.

Well, there's my short account of emo outpour before I travel back. Don't miss me peeps. Heh.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

F1 Malaysian GP: An Out Of This World Experience After All

Yup, I'm finally wrapping up my long entries about the race. And there ain't no better way to end it but by displaying more pics to you guys. Enjoy the view.

Early of the day

Opposites attract. This rather odd couple shopping for merchandise at the booth. Odd because the girl was supporting Mclaren while the boyfriend's supporting Ferrari. And she's working her charm trying to get her boyfriend to put on that Mclaren t-shirt.

Guess what, our national automobile museum looks more like a Proton showroom to me. I don't see any 1985 Proton Saga around. At least put some kereta lembu also not that bad lah.

It's amazing what amazes engineers.

Middle of the day

Denso's advertisers are smart people. They've got the company's name printed on strategic spots.

Me and the coolest dude of the day. Stone the hippie! Wait, after I take a photo with him first. Dude, you have any grass?

The silliest happening of the day

There was this bunch of excited crowd that gathered around the Toyota tent, taking pictures and all. Me and my friend cramped in too to see if it's the drivers, but what we saw was nothing like Jarno Trulli nor Ralf Schumacher. Heck, it's just two ang mohs wearing Toyota t-shirt, and the crowd thought that they were the drivers! So... Malaysian.

During the race

All set and ready to go.

Wiiieewwww! Alright.., Fenando Alonso's supposed to be in this picture...

Second attempt, no, I wanted to capture the, uh, the track! Yes, the track! How interesting! Alonso streched his lead.

Finally, gotcha! Alonso into the last bend before making his final sprint for the trophy.

After the race

Well, I made my way back to KL before hitching a ride back home with some serious party animals who'd drink Brandy for breakfast. And the happy-go-lucky driver, Adrian, did a 180kmh on the way home in a Honda Stream. Didn't I just mentioned I don't wanna go to hell?

Well, we switched car when we arrived over at Butterworth, and guess what, I rode an RX-8 back home! WALALALALA! Same crazy driver did some air time (the car got elevated for like half a second before coming down real hard), and that's not all, he bloody did a 195kmh on the Penang Bridge! NO JOKE! I was hoping that he would go for 200kmh, at least if I die it's well worth it. A patriot's death.

I'll do the 200 myself, someday :D

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

F1 Malaysian GP Part 2: It Felt Like Hell

I was fooled. That ain't close to heaven by it's bit, it's more like the bottomless pit!

When it was around 12 in the afternoon, boy that place was scorching hot. I felt like a dehydrated, barbequed sausage left to die in a frying pan. The heat! It was menacing! It does things to you. I wanted to strip naked so badly. Then all of a sudden purchasing a RM150 Ferrari cap seems to be a sensible thing to do. No, buy an umbrella instead! No, it's too expensive! Snatch one! Aargh!

How could ANYBODY stand this kinda heat? The best thing to do at that moment was to survey people around me, how they cope with hell.

"Ye happen to have a volleyball?" He thought he was at the beach.

Talk about the devil. The ang moh was walking around half naked when I thought of stripping. Is that a sign? Oh I swear to God I was about to take rip my clothes apart, before I turn green and smash every single Beamers and Mercs in sight.

No, calm down, calm down. I will break my wrist tag if I do so, and I can't watch the race then. Then for what reason I suffer all this if I can't watch the race? I'll be a very sad man then. Oh. No. I don't wanna be sad. No. AAAAHHH the heat!

Wait a minute. Seems like I don't have to take off my shirt after all.

Rarrrr.. You make me sweat!

Oh yeah. You're one smart lady, miss sexy flat tummy. Mind if I join you? Then we'll have something in common, maybe we can go for a drink and chat a little, you'll find me charming, be sad to know that I'll be going back to Penang after the race and you might never see me again, make me a farewell party for two before saying that I'm the best you've ever had?

No, I didn't gay myself.

I don't care if I looked silly, I was burning inside.

Finally when I went into the circuit, my physical body gave way and I was starving. I heard that they do sell food inside with reasonable prices, after finding out that a spaghetti set lunch over at the cafe outside was RM70. It ain't any better inside. I spent RM25 on fried rice and RM15 on water. That equals a decent meal over at Chillis. Oh they did sell cold beer, but at RM16 per can (Hope that answers your question about beer and hell, DanT). Hell's food is surely expensive.

The massive herd of humans inside.

Then the race. Somebody told us that the noise from those roaring machines will make our ears bleed, and hence we were told to purchase the earplugs. BUT being Chinese and all that, we stingy smart-asses decided to take the risk and go with our ears uncondomized. And hell yeah those machines wail like crazy bitches who had just been banged in the ass by a retard SPCA officer.

My ears! And my red face!

Oh, I can't possibly shut my ears for the whole race! And I'd rather jump down into the circuit and be ran over by a Ferrari and die a patriot's death rather than to burn my skin walking all the way out there to buy myself those earplugs and die of skin cancer 10 years down the road.

That was the moment when I had my brains to thank, and tissue papers. I knew stuffed ears looked nothing near sexy, but to have functional ears are much more important. Imagine clubbing without music. Or sex without moans. Into my ears you go, tissue paper.

For the whole 1 and a half hours. His ear holes must be a whole lot bigger now.

By now all of you should be well aware that Black & White did a 1-2 finish, followed by Red Old Horse and Malaysian Oil. The race was exciting, though I can't really get any feed on what's happening when the cars were out of sight because the screen was too far.

They placed Raikkonen next to Alonso on purpose, right?

Seasoned fanatics were seen carrying binoculars, which was kinda funny. They looked like those rich horse racing spectators in My Fair Lady who kept their cool, while I looked like Audrey Hepburn who was yelling and screaming away like a hooligan. Heheh I don't care.

This gondola, as expected from Air Asia, experienced technical problems.

Through out the race, I found myself cheering for the Beamer more than the Red Horse. Hey, I'm supposed to be a Ferrari fan, right? Maybe it's a sign that I'm gonna own one 325 in the future, I don't know. But that's the only reasonable explanation, I guess. It was quite an enjoyable affair, a luxurious sporting event I would say. And a hot one too.

Beamer boleh!

One revelation I got was that I don't wanna go to hell. God, I promise to be a good boy from now on, the best that I can. And oh, You're not mad that I missed Easter service for this, right?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

F1 Malaysian GP Part 1: I Thought I Was In Heaven

I was never a big fanatic of F1. I did follow the race from time to time, but never a particular team supporter, except for Team Sauber for nationalistic reasons.

Malaysia (Punya Petrol) Boleh!

It was about 8 am when I reached Sepang International Circuit (SIC). I was early, and while waiting for the rest to arrive, I took a walk around. It's my first time (virgin) in SIC anyway.

She was walking around too, and we walked around together. No, I did not stalk her

Then the silliest question appeared to me. Here I am in SIC, about to enter the circuit to watch F1 and heck, I have no clue which team am I supporting.

You see, Italians around will support Ferrari, because Ferrari is an Italian car. Finnish fans will support Kimi Raikkonen, Brazilians cheer for Felippe Massa, Japs will back Honda, so on and so forth.

Oh I love 'em Fins. Check out Star today. The same chick are on the front of Star Sport.

But when it comes to me, heck, there's no Team Proton for me to support nor any Malaysian driver to cheer to. Wait, come to think of it, it's better to not have any Malaysian driver in the race to save my nation's pride.

Malaysia (Mana) Boleh!

So, who to support then? Should I cheer for the winning team that crosses the finish line? Or stick to my Team Sauber?

Me showing my support to Robert Kubica

As I was walking around, still thinking hard about which team will I scream to, looking around and all that, out of nowhere I heard a sweet, gentle but clear and distinct voice:


I was shocked.

"God, is that You? You a Ferrari fan?"

Then I heard another angelic voice laughing.

"Hell yeah Ferrari!"

Then the Ferrari chatters grew louder and louder. I turned around, lo and behold, what a sight.

Ferrari evangelists

I smiled while looking at their antiques. One of them looked over, and smiled back. I instantly became a Ferrari convert.

Aah.. I'm starting to like this place. Thank God for tube tops and mini skirts. Heavenly.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Corny Name For A Clique

Do you notice how artistes mention/acknowledge their recording company or their clique at the start of a song? Sure you do, maybe you just didn't notice them.

First off, there's this famous coin who stutters every time he mention his clique's name (GgGgGggG-Unit!) Oh you can hear it in almost every single song of his.

Then there's this one on Mariah Carey's, LL Cool J's and Bow Wow's records. "Ya'll know this is, so, so Def!" Yeah, that's Jermaine Dupri's watermark.

And back in the days when people still use Nokia 3310 and listen to Ja Rule, you can hear a deep low tone "Murder Inc" on his records.

Then came this prisoner who wants his clique to be known too. So you get "Konvict.." at the begining of every singles that he made now.

Sounds pretty cool, but all it took was a fatty to spoil his clique's name.

Fei Zai is a fan of Akon, though he listens to a lot of Chinese songs. One fine day when Akon's I Wanna Love You was starting to play on my stereo, Fei Zai so happen walked into my room.

He immediately stroke a pose, complete with the west side crossed fingers, cloudy eyes and started singing as the song starts playing...

Me: There you go again, wannabe...
Fei Zai: Shhh, don't interupt my flow, this is my favorite song man..

Me: Come sit down and let's discuss this...

Fei Zai: Shhh here it comes...
(Akon starts singing as Fei Zai karaoked along)
"Cornflake... music..."

I rolled on the floor laughing away. Seriously I did.

Sorry man, but from now on this thing just pops up in my head every time I hear your song.