Friday, June 30, 2006

Definitions Screwed Up

"love". What is it anyway? Why would people talk about it, sing about it, preach about it, when they can't give a proper definition to it?

"like". Having favour over a person for the way they behave, look or act. Being attracted to a person for certain criterias that he or she possess.

"care". Concern over something, be it a person, your pet hamster or that new straight cut jeans of yours. Giving attention to something or someone that needs it from you.

"love". Something more than "like", and it must not be mistaken as "care", because with love, it is bundled along. So sort of weird strong feeling you have towards someone. So I think.

Well if I like a person, and care for her, than am I in love with the person?

What does it mean to be in love with a person? Just to think of the person day and night, somebody who's got staying power in your mind and that's it? Someone whom you wanna be close with all the time? Someone you like and care for? Does all that count to be considered as to be in love? And is that all?

And can love fade away? Can those strong feelings somehow corrode as time passes by? If so, then love have no staying power?

I am confused... Or maybe I just think too much.Whatever it is, abstinence mode logged in.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Book Release: The Simple Life

If I was to pen down all the words I said to people, I would be a New York Times non-fiction best selling author. I haven't come up with a name for my book, but its my share of philosophy in life and about how to lead a simple life.

Nice leh the book cover.

Nah, I'm not that motivated to write a book out. A blog entry would do.

See, in life, people face loads of choices every single day. From whether to visit McDonalds for lunch or whether should the meal be upsized, making the right choice is a very complex process.


"Visit us, even if you're at home. Visit us online." Ronald

Okay, that may not be that complex after all, but my point is, people have to make choices.

And people do think it's hard to make a decision. But actually, it's very simple. Just make the best decision for yourself and for everybody else's good.

Example:
If eating upsized large Big Mac meals three times a day satisfies your craving for burgers, but it makes you fat, then just decide not to take it anymore, cuz you'll die earlier and you won't get to enjoy anymore Big Macs after that. Decide, and then just do it. Yes it's that simple.


But the harder part is to do it. Even though there are emotional bonds between you and that meat stuffed burger, you have to choose to do what is best for yourself. Just remember what you have decided on and stop eating burgers with upsized meals. Try fried chickens made up of 16 secret herbs and spiced instead.

We caya sama you, Colonel.

Simple.

Woarrgggh... Why, McD, why is it so cheap to upsize a meal?! McDonald's. You blew my book release plans.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Wanna Know Who I Really Am?

This is me. According to them.

Your results:
You are Spider-Man!
























Spider-Man
75%
Superman
75%
Batman
35%
Supergirl
25%
The Flash
20%
Robin
15%
Wonder Woman
5%
Green Lantern
0%
Catwoman
0%
Hulk
0%
Iron Man
0%
You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.
You are freaking good looking too!

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


Okay, I admit that I added the good looking thing myself.

Malaysian police, I'm here to assist! (No, not in taking bribes..)

Mary Jane's position is still for take. Anyone interested? I can schving with you, Mary, take you real high!

Schvingin', baby!

Why there ain't any Austin Powers test around..

Just An Entry

Just came back from church. Feel real sleepy. I was about to yap about the beach party yesterday nite.. That can wait. Gotta sleep first. Bikini girls. Later. Gotta sleep. Shakin' their booty doin' their thang. Later. Gotta crash. Swedes your defence sucks. Later. So much to type. Can barely see the screen. Eyelids shutting down. Gotta slee..

Saturday, June 24, 2006

World Cup: Who Do You Support, Malaysians?

Let me introduce my favorite team to you guys. I'm an avid England supporter. Though they are doing quite badly, but still my heart goes out for them. And I do support Czech and South Korea too, they surely earned my cheers.

But what happens when I'm watching a match with none of the teams in it? Well, I will support the team that I "like more" than the other.

So it was Spain against Saudi Arabia yesterday nite. Not a "must watch" match, but still, it'll be an enjoyable match I thought, with loads and loads of goals.
"The Spainards are gonna whip the Arabians' camel-riding ass... Haha.."

It was one way traffic football on the first half. The Spainards are throwing in all sorts of dangerous balls into the Middle East, and they managed to score one. In my heart, I was cheering them on.
"Go! Spainards! Go!"

The score was 1-0 on the half time.
"Yay! Spain! Yay!"

Comes the second half. The Spainards are not performing as well as they did in the first half. They are just slacking and relaxing, fooling around. I was abit baffled with their gameplay already.
"What are you guys doing? C'mon! Entertain me!"

I was frustrated with the Spainards midway thru the game. And out of nowhere I found myself symphathizing the Mid-Eastern team. Poor kids that qualify every year and go home early.
"C'mon, Saudi. At least score one for your pride."

And then suddenly the Saudis played with guts. They started to fight for possession, and all that. Did loads of good tries but to no avail.
"Now that's football. Fight for it, Saudis!"

10 minutes more to full 90. Oh no. The scoreline was still the same. No, at least one more goal, c'mon!
"G-O S-A-U-D-I G-O! Score me a goal! Go Saudi! Oil and camels and oasis! Go!"

Let me keep all the drama of the match to myself and the replays. But by the time the match was over, it was still 1-0 and I realised how I swayed from supporting Spain to Saudi Arabia. Well, I figured it out; it's always tough to be a supporter of a team when your own nation is not in the World Cup.

Anybody like Saudi Arabia here?

Friday, June 23, 2006

Random Stereotyped Thought: Expectations In Relationships

Ask girls that are in love what do they want most from a guy, and they'll answer you "I want his care, love and attention". Something like that, more or less .

Now try asking a guy what he wants from a relationship. Pure honest answer, they'll tell you this: "Hot, steamy sex. Adventurous sex. Great sex. Outdoor sex. Three-some sex. Backseat sex. Bathroom sex. Sex in Sussex. And Middlesex. Kitchen sex. And oh did I mention sex?"

Analyse this and think it over:

Girl is very stressed from work or assignment she's been working on for days already. She needs the guy to come over and ask: "How are you, honey? Are you okay? How's the progress, handling the project well? Take a nap okay? Come baby, let me give you a light massage.." etc. That will lighten her up. The care and attention showered upon her.

Baby we'll dance the stress away.. (Girls like)

What about the guys? Stressed, over-worked and in need of a break. So what he needs most?

A hot shower?
A nice dinner?
A massage?
An argument?
A fight?

Actually, ANY of the above, provided that:

It is a hot shower, followed by sex in the bath tub.
It is a nice dinner, followed by sex on the dinner table.
It is a massage, followed by sex on the bed.
It is an argument, followed by an apologetic sex.
It is a fight, followed by raw hardcore sex. (Mr & Mrs Smith style)
Anything at all will lighten him up. As long as there is sex in it. Yes, no matter how tired he is.

Oh yea baby, more of that more! (Guys like)

So why girls long for care and attention so much, and guys crave after sex so badly?

Because, those are the things that the both of them cannot get on a regular basis.

Guys don't get laid three times a day, 7 days a week. That's why they want to get laid so, so much. Care and attention is secondary then. (Sex equals care and attention too)

Girls don't get the attention from guys all the time. That's why they long for it so, so much. Sex is secondary then. (Sex is the reward?)

But too much of something is always not a good thing though.

If the guy does get laid all the time, he is a happy man. And maybe, a bored man, one day. He will want to try out something new. He will want the girl to do weird things. And one fine day, he'll be seen banging some crunk party girl that he met at the nearby club.
If the girl does get all the care and attention in the world, she would take them for granted. She would be saying that the boyfriend is "freaky, stalkin' her, tying her down, no freedom to breathe". And one fine day, she'll be seen flirting with some cute boy-next-door, or maybe the milkman. Or being all crunked up and banged by some sex-starved man at the nearby club.

Guys and girls, no, you are not doomed. The solution is here.

It's as easy as this. Girls. Get a guy worth serving. Guys. Get a girl worth caring for.

Done.

Yet another quality entry from Mr. Stereotyper.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Love Letters

Promises of undying love, never changing, everlasting ones are easy to say but hard to keep. Heck, I remember saying those myself too, and receiving them at the same time. Fellas, take a look at me now. I'm a bachelor, and those promises were gone with the wind. Those that I uttered and those that I received.

Nope, I'm not filled with resentments nor disappointments instead I can look back at all those events and laugh about it over. Silly, rite? When you're just like barely maturing and you thought that you know ALL about love, and you thought about how simple it is. The worse, you ignore advices from older folks and just do things your own way, thinking that they know nothing about love. Well, they might, but they sure do know alot about life. Yes, I was like that.

Certain lessons in life, you've gotta experience it thru yourself first hand to learn it and I find this to be dead true.

I've recently hopped over to a blog by a girl that seems to be deeply in love with this guy. My first reaction: I laughed. I don't know why. But all those mushy sappy cheesy words just tickled my funny bones. Those "I'm the luckiest girl in the world" (What, you think you're dating Brad Pitt?), "I love you forever" (6 months? 1 year?), "How could I live without you" (So you're committing suicide after it's over?), "I've dreamt about this for so long", "I'll never leave you" (for now...) stuff are real kiddy. I mean, GET REAL. Don't go about saying things for the sake of saying it. Funny how I used to say them too, how shallow I was back then.

Nope, I'm not a sad bloke disappointed with love and life, suicidal and all that, but I just happen to ponder on all those girly-boy relationships stuff. I have my own opinions and thoughts. Where is it gonna lead to anyway? How long? How far? How serious? You can say whatever you want, but, seriously,try thinking logically and rationally before saying a single word.

I don't mind a relationship. Just dont talk all those cockamamie cheesy bullshit with me at this moment.

Good luck to ya girlie blogger. Thanks for the inspiration, I've got another entry. Hehe.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Laju dan Marah 3: Tokyo Apung

Yesterday afternoon SMS conversation with Ben:

Ben: Free later this evening?
Wan Yean: What are you up to?
Ben: Tokyo Drift!
Wan Yean: Amen!

And so that's how I (and the rest of my friends) was (were) duped into watching that show.

Yeah baby!

When the trailer was first out, everyone (that includes me) was like "wHhHoOooaaAaa.... awWsoOoommee, dude!" with drools dripping down from their lips.

You drooled too after watching it, admit it.


I was particularly impressed with the part where the car was drifting up the tight slope.

Is the car being pulled up by some cables?

And after watching the preview, I thought to myself: At last, a show with cars, babes and a proper story. And I thought so.

I cooked up a story based on the trailer:
Young cocky American punk challenges Japanese drift addicts to race, lose at first, then starts to get better, makes out with rival Jap's girlfriend, eventually got threatened to get his hands off the the girl and the wheels or else... (Japs got varieties of S&M machineries) Rival takes girl away, he chase, rival got killed in car crash with girl, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment for dangerous driving, turns gay, something like that.

And with LOADS of drifting and racing in between.

When we were outside the cinema waiting for the show to start, we saw another movie poster of similar category.

For babies.

Wan Yean: Hey, I heard this is a good show!
Ben: Ya, why not we both watch this instead?
Wan Yean: (Looks at Ben)
Ben: (Looks at Wan Yean)
Wan Yean & Ben: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Everyone was in for a good show with loads of action, neat cars and skimpily dressed chicks.

Sadly, to everybody's disappointment (excluding my roommate, he likes the show somehow), there ain't any story, acting was poor (except for Han, he looks familiar), chicks are ugly (except for Neela), cars are moderately featured (I was more interested in the motorcycle with two cans of NOS) and the cinematography during the racing scene was not that impressive as well.

And there are scenes that are so freaking carbon-copied.
  • The scene when the car crashed and flew down the mountain onto the road.
    I've seen that already in Initial D.
  • The girl-complains-hey-there's-something-wrong-with-my-car-tuning scene.
    I've seen that already in the first installment of Fast and Furious.
  • The trash talking scene when the Jap went heads-on with Sean.
    I've seen dozens of that in WWE wrestling.
And, the biggest disappointment; it's supposed to be a show with pretty cars and pretty babes, but there ain't any scene with a combination of them both (equals back seat uh-huh). Heck, the lead actor didn't even have any kinda contact with his love interest at all. Now that's really weird.

Well to wrap it up; like how Ben puts it:

"Its about a 17 year old American who humiliates Asian like nobody's business."

I thought of it over, and well, its true. Why?
  • He made peace with the most feared, gruesome Yakuza boss.
    "I came here to offer a solution... Let's settle it with a race." Camera zooms into his face while he stares at the Yakuza boss intensely.. "Yes, a race."
    If I was the Yakuza boss, I would've laughed darn loudly and say, "Tamaguchi! Bring me my samurai sword.."
  • He knows nothing about drifting at first but ends up as the best in Asia in months.
    "You're the new D.K. (Drift King)! You're the best in Asia, man!"
    Translated: "What you Asians took ages to learn and master, we Americans can do it in just months and we do it better than you."
The F&F series is getting from bad to worse. I enjoyed watching the cars going sideways. Thats all. Come to think of it, I'd rather be watching Cars. Or WRC Championship Series.

Speed needs no translation... And no storyline, no acting skills, no script, no logic.

Side dish: According to the subtitles, drifting = mengapung in Malay? I thought mengapung is floating.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Korean Or Japanese Trivia

More of small eyed, thumb-sized penis homo-sapiens. But this time, you make the guess- Yeah, Take A Wild Guess is back. Take a wild guess, which one is the Jap, and the Kore. Happy guessing!
(SCROLL SLOWLY)
Picture 1
Jap or Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Kore!
How to tell:
Tiny eyes, fair skin.

Picture 2
Jap or Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Kore!
How to tell:
Tiny eyes, fair skin.

Picture 3
Jap or Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Jap!
How to tell:
Tiny eyes, fair skin. Hmm...

Picture 4
Jap or Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
He's my brother-in-law lah! MALAYSIAN!
How to tell:
Tiny eyes, fair sk... Oh God. I'm confused myself.

Picture 5
Jap or Kore?
(No, he ain't Tom Welling)
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Jap!
How to tell:
I bet you're brewing confused now.

Picture 6
Jap or Kore?

Additional question: For guys who can speak both Japanese and Korean; what language would you use to converse with her?

Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Kore!
How to tell:
Oh, what ever.

Answer to additional question: English. Real men speak English, and chicks are impressed with them.

Picture 7
Jap or Kore?
(Yes, it's a cow.)
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Jap?
Kore?
Made up your mind?

Answer:
Jap cow!
Ain't a diss, its for real!
How to tell:
Tinier eyes, fairer skin, relative to other cows.

The best way to distinguish between the two? Say this prayer after me:

God, grant me the wisdom to discern between the two. Amen.

How did you score out of the 7 questions?

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Distinguishing Korea & Japan

Is it that hard to distinguish between the two?

Situation:
Ben enters my room, looking extremely sick and tired of lying down on his bed and jerking his day away, trying to look for something else to do instead.

Ben: Oi, got any new movies to watch ah?

Kuat: Look on Wan Yean's table la. Got a few DVDs there.

Ben: (Looking thru the DVDs) Yadda yadda yaddadaa.... Eh! What show is this... Looks explicit la.. Silverknife! Cool! I don't mind watching a Jap show!

Kuat: It's a Korean show la you dumb dumb!

Ben: Serious? The cover looks so Japanese!

Kim: Ben.. It's a Korean show. Final.

Ben: Arrghh who cares. All I know is that they both speak in languages we don't understand and they make handphones.

Kuat & Kim: ...

Ben: (walks back to his room) I wonder if there's any nudity in this show... (Mischiveous, sick and perverted smirk on his face)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Slow & Furious

In Johor

Wan Yean: You! Take me to the mall, third floor, computer accessories shop at the far end corner!
You! Bring me a cup of coffee, no milk, hot, 3 teaspoons of brown sugar!
You! Bring me my cellphone, connect me to all my fellow comrades, I'm tele-conferencing!
You! Prepare my half year review and I want it on my table now!
You! Get me the latest updates on the volcano, in English, Bahasa Malaysia, Mandarin and Tagalog!
You..

All my servants: Hail Wan Yean, it's all been done for. Are there anymore commands we need to attend to? We gladly obey.

Wan Yean: Good! I'm very satisfied with your efficiency! Mwahahhahahaha!!

In Penang

Wan Yean: You! Bring me th..

Servant: Waiting for authentication...

Wan Yean: I want my coffee on my table now!

Servant: Registering to the network...

Wan Yean: How dare you?!

Servant: Connected to host.

Wan Yean: (Takes a deep breath) Okay. Lets try this again... Get me my coffee, black, 3 teaspoons of sugar! And while you're at it, bring me my mails!

Servant: (Blank)

Wan Yean: What the..

Servant: (Blank) Tranferring data from login.live.com...

Wan Yean: Hurry up!

Servant: You have been disconnected. Reconnecting in 59s, 58s, 57s,...

Wan Yean: (Smashes the screen, burns the modem.)

Too used to high speed internet connection in Johor. Man, I hate dial-ups... Papa, go broadband!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Create Post

Wanted to write something just now. It was 8:41p.m. and now its 10:28p.m. already. Ended up chatting in MSN. Damn... MSN is every blogger's number 1 enemy.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Mr & Mrs Tommie Chen


Officially married last Saturday, 3rd June 2006. God bless you two, may your "constant faith and abiding love" light burn on for the many years to come, and that you both will live happily evermore.

Vandals

Vandals are everywhere. It is a sickness, a mental condition that remains dormant in each and everyone of us until that moment comes when you see that oh-I-really-need-to-write-something-on-it wall and you just let loose and well, became a vandal. And I bet every single one of you have smeared dirt on walls/tables/anything at all, at least once, if not, twice in your entire lifetime.

My piece of art on the tutorial class table... What to do, too boring lah the class!

It is an eyesore. But in order to get rid of them, we must first understand them. And how do we understand them? No better way other than to stop, pause, stare, reflect, analyse and admire their work of art.

I did my research, and I can generally classify where do they normally target:

BRAND NAMES

First stage now showing on 8TV.

Superman Returns. In cinemas 29th June 2006.

PLAIN WALLS

You know, I found this etching on Starbucks wall in Johor! Never knew he was so famous!

VISIBLE SPOTS

He thinks he's doing this for the common good.
My bet: The guy who wrote this is the janitor.

NOTICE BOARDS

Masterpiece, I tell ya. Very well done indeed. Especially the cigarette-train transformation.

And there are just some notices that need not any decorations/modifications, because well, they just don't.

The England damn powder la.

Conclusion: Wanna get rid of vandals? Easy. Humiliate your own signs before they do, and they will stay away.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Power Of BUT

Inspired from a sermon

No, not your rear. Yes, single T.

The word but can change the whole condition and flow of a conversation or situation.
For example:

I'm gonna buy that car.
(Oh yes I am!)

I've got enough cash for down payment now.
(All the hard work pays off then!)

I can support myself and the car, and I really gonna enjoy riding in it.
(It's RX-8 dammit!)

But
(...?)

I don't have a driving license yet.
(!!!)

Or another classic:

I love you so much.
(Girl smiles)

I like they way you look when you smile.
(Girl blushes)

I will give the world up just to be with you.
(Girl melts, about to liquidify)

But
(Girl taken by surprise)

I can never be with you.
(Girl goes into coma, heart attack)

The anti-climax effect of the word BUT. It can turn the whole world around, sunshine to rain, laughter to tears, man to woman (hey, that's not possible.. sorry wrong metaphor).

Moral of the story: Use your but carefully, and I seriously pledge all of you to take considerations with words that you use.

But actually I was only kidding.