Sunday, April 30, 2006

Machines III: The Cheaper Alternative

Starbucks will burn my every single buck in my pocket and my wallet and my bank account if I frequently frequent that place. So, in search of a cheaper alternative, me and Ben journeyed to the west and yi lu xiang bei-ed in search of a spot which provides truly free WiFi connection. Surprisingly, we did not have to look too far. Seems like the multi-purpose hall in my hostel (named Kolej Tun Razak @ KTR) is WiFi-ed! *oOoHh excited*

I was already halfway day dreaming about late nights there chatting on MSN, endless hours of blogging, and tons and tons of mp3 to download! Finally, God! You have proven that there is a blessing in disguise after all for placing me in this horrid place! Hallelu-

*Beep* (Phone rings)

Ben (on the line): Hey, I'm there already.
Wan Yean: Uh huh. Wah so excited ah never wait for me fly there straight away?
Ben: Just.. Need.. To.. Blog.. (gasped for air)
Wan Yean: Okay I'll be there in a short while.
Ben: Gotta tell you though. They blocked MSN.
Wan Yean: WHAT?!! (grgrrgrrgrrrr)
Ben: Erm, yeah.
Wan Yean: *exhale* Okay, and what about p2p connection?
Ben: Good news, it is blocked too.
Wan Yean: Go blog your ass off yourself lah. I rather stay in my room and watch the fan spin and calculate its angular velocity.

-jah.

Okay, I gave in and visited that place. Let me sum it up for you, Wan Yean's review on TCA (The Cheaper Alternative):
Pro:
  1. Wireless connection available for free.

Cons:
  1. It's like a huge microwave oven, there are like 10 wall fans but none of them are functioning.
  2. No MSN, No mp3 downloads possible (thank God they didn't block Friendster).
  3. Connection is unstable, always lost (According to Ben, happens more often when its prayer time). It took me almost 45 minutes for me to download a 7mb file.

Ben: Yay seronoknya dapat blog!

That is why I'm now in Starbucks again. The lady must be laughing real hard now with her teeth showing.

Machines II : Starbucks' Conspiracy Theory

Blogging is fun. At times, it can be addictive. To the extend that we (me and fellow blogger/friend/wanker/ulu jungle beast Ben) would fork out RM10++ for a cup of drink at Starbucks, sit our asses down there the whole day (yes, until they close the shop) and just blog our heads off. At least I would still download music and all that, but still RM10++ per session is cut throat, and uneconomical. Through out my visits there, I realised a shocking fact. The Starbucks logo is actually inspired by the painting of Mona Lisa, where people claim that as you stare longer and harder into the face of the lady, you can actually see her gradually smile wider. And I can see her smile is getting wider day by day.


Day 1:
Wan Yean: The reason why I'm here and you're doing my business is simply because you've got high speed internet connection here. By the way, pleasant smile you've got, lady.
Lady: Enjoy your drink, sir. (You have no idea... hahaha)

Day 2:
Wan Yean: Boy, your frappucino is sure addictive! Oh, lady, is there something different about your smile today? By the way I do enjoy your beverages!
Lady: Enjoy your drink, sir (Yes.. fork out another RM10 for me! Hahaha..)

Day 3:
Wan Yean: Man I am so in need of another caffeine shot! Give it to me QUICK! And your smile, lady! I think its getting broader day by day! Or is it because I ran out of caffeine in my blood and I start hallucinating? QUICK! Another shot!
Lady: Enjoy your drink, sir (HAHAHA... You fool.. That's because I'm emptying your pockets!)

Day 4:
Wan Yean: Can't... li... live... w.. without... Starbucks... Help... It's evil... *faint*
Lady: Enjoy your drink, sir! (Now you are totally powerless! SUBMIT! PAY UP! MAKE EVERY DRINK A VENTI! WAHAHAHA!)

Sinful addiction. And expensive. Then why the heck am I here again? Save me, Coffee Bean!

Friday, April 28, 2006

The Machine Is Taking Over!

Remember that show starring Will Smith, I Robot, about how humans became overly dependent on robots, and eventually one fine day the robots took over their lives? Something to laugh about back then, but now, it's getting a lil scary now.

No, i don't have any pet robot or machinery to start off with. What I am referring to is computers. Yes, life has never been the same again since this piece of technological metal scrap came into my life. My faithful lappy toppy has been my enless supply of entertainment, and making my life a whole much easier to go thru day by day in Johor. It's my main source of:
  1. Music (mp3 player cum radio CD player)
  2. Mini cinema (VCD/DVD/downloaded videos player)
  3. Cyber cafe (DotA, Internet surfing)
  4. Aphrodisiac stimulant (Erm, no comments)
  5. Workspace (Assignments, etc)
  6. Best friend (Companion during lonely days)
But then again. Too much of something is bad enough, said Ginger Spice. Totally true. As I am closing into almost a year of study here in Johor, as I reflect on the things I've done, I am surprised that I can recall so little things that I did with my friends here. Heck, I can even count it with my bare 10 fingers and still I'll have enough fingers to type and blog. Is my life ruined, by the existence of computers?

Ask any old uncles/aunties that used to study in a university, and they'll tell you that they had the best time of their lives there. They'll go on telling/bragging about how much they enjoyed themselves this and that:

"Trust me, it's the best time ever in your life. Back then during my uni days, we travelled the Semenanjung backpacking during the break, and even slept on park benches! We had so much fun doing outdoor activities and meeting people, that even now when I think back of those days tears will come streaming down my eyes (sob) and I just (sobb) miss those (sobb) people, those fun times... (blows nose) OooH!! (breaks down into tears and cry)"

I wonder what kinda story will I tell lil kids next time, when I'm an uncle myself:

"Trust me, it's the best time ever in your life. Back then during my uni days, we... erm... we played DotA all night long! YES! We.. erm.. we would turn on our computers each day, play with it for at least 5hrs a day, and that was just great! My bond with my my laptop is just inseperable! And.. erm.. I had a triple kill during DotA! YES! Erm.. It was great! Erm.. Lil kid, hey, where are you? Hey I'm talking real interesting, sharing real life experience with you! Come back and listen!"

Everyday is a special gift from above, and I'm wasting every single one of it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Brainless Handling The Brainful

My college/hostel staffs are getting paid for:
  1. Doing absolutely nothing at all. (Unless you consider signing a couple of receipts as work)
  2. Wasting resources.
  3. Talking cock.
Scenario: Undergrads taking the short semester are supposed to register for their accomodation and pay up the hostel fees beforehand. Once when we're at the office:

( 1. Doing absolutely nothing at all )

Student: Erm, how much do we have to pay for the accomodation?
Staff: Oh, RM4 per day for double room, RM4.50 for single.
Student: Uh huh, yea that I know. So that totals up to..?
Staff: Count yourself lah!
Student: ???
(Moment of silence)
Staff: Okay, okay.. (takes out his calculator) How long is your short sem?
Student: Erm, two months. (You mean you guys don't know? How many times have you handled this already and you're still clueless?)
Staff: That means.. (pressing calculator) RM244 lo!

( 2. Wasting resourses )

After the staff collected like, thousands of Ringgit and issued loads of receipts.

Student: Erm, encik, our short sem starts on 8th May, and ends at 30th June. According to your calculation and the amount that we pay, we can have the room until 8th July, since you calculate it to be exactly 2 months. Is this true?
Staff: Huh? How can that be? Silly fella, never in my life I miscalculate! And no, you can't stay on after that! New students will move in, and senior students can't be around that time!
Student: But encik..
Staff: Fine! Since you're so stubborn I'll count for you again! 8th May til 30th June rite? Sums up to be 54 days, and 54 times 4, that sums up to there it told you already you don't wanna hear?! (Shows the calculator to student)
Student: Its RM216, sir.
(Moment of silence)
Staff: Okay, erm.. I mean.. yeah of course! Shites.. arrr.. Can you give me back your receipt, I'll issue you a new one, erm, ask all your friends to return theirs too okay? Oh no, ran out of receipt books.. Erm.. Hold on okay I'll refund you your money. Hehe. (paiseh)

( 3. Talking cock )

While waiting for receipts to be re-issued..

Bitchy Staff: Heyy you there.. Your hair is long harr..
Student: Huh? Me?
Bitchy Staff: Yess you.. You know I can issue you a saman for keeping your hair so long. You know, now the trend is not long hair anymore, keep it short nicer. See how nobody likes M. Nasir nowadays and how girls just drool at the sight of Mawi (her eyes rolled), and Mawi's hair is short. And you know why Angelina Jolie likes Brad Pitt? Because his hair is short and cool, unlike yours. I can see three strands hanging low beside your ears, ooh thats just too long! I don't wanna be cruel, but you know, rules are rules, and you have to follow them, you just have to underst..
Student: But..
(No moment of silence, she talked too much)
Bitchy Staff: Why did you interupt my speech? Okaay, I know you wanna be coool, nevermind its fine with me, but remember I gave you a warning already okay..? So the next time when you come over to take the keys for your room and still I spot you with those long hair, well I have the right to not give them to you, okay? And I can even issue you a RM25 saman, slap you twice, bite your hair off with my bare teeth (licking her lips), take you home and spank you (eyes rolled wildly), whip you rreal hard, pinch those fine ass rreal tightly (groans), hit y..
Students: Aaaaaaaaaaa......!!!
(Ran out of the office, can't bear the sight of an ugly staff caressing herself)

Here I introduce to you my university again, where the system is unsystematic.

ain't that far..

Venue: E-Gate, Penang
Date: 24th April

I have a date, three years from now.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Kiasu-ism and Friendster

Kiasu-ism is real and prevalent. You can see its traits everywhere:
  • The aunties at the market korek-ing a basket full of oranges just so that they'll get the freshest of the bunch
  • Undergrads pushing their way thru to get into the bus just so that they'll secure a seat;
  • Ah-bengs driving under-powered 80bhp Kancil with a bamboo sized 12 inch-diameter exhaust just so that they'll sound the loudest on the road (and maybe get a ticket);
  • And can you believe it - Friends altering their name (literally) just so that they'll get ahead of others in friendster's friends list.

About 2 years ago when the friendster wave hit our cyberwave shores, everyone was delighted to be able to keep in touch with other friends in such a simple manner. And that's the day when the kiasu epidemic spread like wildfire in friendster:

1. Testimonials
People start asking around for testimonials from total strangers, trying hard to outdo one another.

Bimbo: Bambi, thanks for your testi! (smile) I'll write you one okay?

Bambi: Sure, no problem! (smile)


Bimbo: Bamboo.. why you never write me testi wannn... Write me one, I write back for you k?


Bamboo: Okay.. (smile) Bambi, how many testis (sounds wrong) you have?


Bambi: Erm, very little la (smile), 62 only.


Bamboo: Wah so much! I only got 58! (still can smile) Bimbo, how many you got?


Bimbo: 143. (smile)


Bamboo: Ma chao hai la you! So many deee still wan ah? (no more smile, bin or or)


Bambi: You play cheat is it? Dont care! Bimbo! You must write back 3 for me! (no more smile
too, bin also or or)


Bimbo: Oh. I got alot of friends mah.. Heeee... (smile brighter, wider)


2. Name alteration:
2.1 Addition of Ang Moh Mia
All of a sudden everybody has got one, particularly those starting with the letter "A".

Kim Seng: Hey, Hock Seng!


Hock Seng: (pretends not to hear)


Foo Seng: HOI! HOCK SENG AHH!


Hock Seng: (reacts a lil) Oh, you all call me is it? Sorry ah, I change name liao not used to it.
(smile)


Kim Seng: Really? Go court change name ah?


Hock Seng: No la, I got Christian name liao.


Foo Seng: You Christian dee ah?


Hock Seng: No.. Just call me Andy from now onwards okay.


Kim Seng: Eh so ngam. I change name too. Call me Aaron. (smile)


Andy: Hoi not fair! Then your name will be ahead of mine in friendster! Double A!


Aaron: Oh, so this is all about appearing first in friendster la.. (pretends as if he's not doing it for the same purpose) What to do, its my name what.. Change dee. (syok)


Foo Seng: Yea la.. People change dee cannot be unchanged wan. Actually I also change name
dee.


Andy & Aaron: Oh, what is your name now?

Foo Seng: Aandy.


Aaron: What the (*#^%@)!!! Where got such name wan?! You'll be further ahead!


Aandy: Too bad mah change dee..


Andy & Aaron: *faint*

Okay, still acceptable I guess.

2.2 Addition of Symbol
What gets you ahead of the letter "A"? Of course, symbols.

Tambinathan: I am now known as -tambinathan- okay.


Rotisamy: Dei, what's the difference laa? Sounds the same only.


-tambinathan: Different la deii. Now in front - okay.


Rotisamy: Aiyoo machaa.. that one no power la.. Check mine out. 'rotisamy


-tambinathan: Fuiyo! Amaleh! You are ahead of me!


'rotisamy: Too bad la woi. ToOo bad.. (head waving swiftly left and right)


Now that's a lil unacceptable. But I'm still okay with it.

2.3 Addition of Symbols (Notice Its Plural)
Now, what gets you ahead of a ' symbol? More ' symbols!

Aaron: Waahahaha.. Finally I'll be ahead of Aandy and 'rotisamy, cuz now, I'm ' ' aaron!


Aandy: Not so soon, ' ' aaron! I am officially ' ' ' aandy now! Waahahaha!


'rotisamy: Oooh, you think I dunno how to upgrade ahh?? Now I'm ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' 'rotisamy!


' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Bimbo: Sorry, but I think I'm ahead of you by one stroke. (smile)


' 'A a everyone else: We give up! (all bow down on the floor and kow tow) Si fu!!!

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Bimbo: Peace!! (two fingers up)


What's wrong with the world, mama?!
I think I will view friends from the back page onwards.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

21/22

:: cherished, treasured, sealed ::

what lies ahead are difficult to face, but are never too difficult to overcome.
I am 38% Video Game Addict.
I Play a Few Video Games
I may play video games but they don’t rule my life. Good for me. But I should be careful not to fall in the grasp of the loving glow of the TV or monitor. The TV or monitor might fall in love with those cute gaze of my eyes.
I am 45% Internet Addict.
Slight Internet Addict.
I could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck! By the way, test results showed that I'm good looking. Bet you're jealous.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Dear Yahoo!, This Is Just A Blog For Heaven's Sake

statcounter.com is really a cool website, shocking at times, by the amount of information they can provide you about your website viewers. For example, one can trace where the viewer came from, the ISP provider, the visit length, etc with just a few clicks. I would log in to my account once a while to have a look at my stats. As usual, I would receive hits from:
1. friends
2. fellow bloggers
3. sometimes from blog hoppers that visit random blogs

But today, when I checked for my stats, I found out that I'm having a different kind of visitor.

4. porn addict
5. singing king/queen

Test your eye for free.

If you can't see it clearly:
The one on top: search keyword: malay girl sex (whatthaa*%$!!)
The on at the bottom: search keyword: huo yuan jia lyrics (huohuoHUOhuoHUoHUO??)

Thats just great. I did post song lyrics up, but not that song. I wonder which part of blog has got that keyword.

And even better. Search for "malay girl sex" and yahoo directs them to my blog. Malay girl sex. Great. Just great.

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YAHOO?! THIS AIN'T A LYRICS SEARCH ENGINE NOR A (MALAY) PORN WEBSITE! BRING THEM SOMEWHERE ELSE! GO AWAY! GO FAR FAR AWAY!

*Exhale*

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

When Will I Grow Up? By Myself?

This is a fact: I am still mummy's lil boy. Yes, to her, I am still a very innocent and naive lil boy that is being exposed to so much danger in the world today.

Ask anyone who has been out with me before and they'll tell you about how my night out will be interupted by at least (thank God if its only) one phone call from my mum. And whenever I got home somehow she'll be awake though she might be lying down on her bed (please stop staring into your computer monitor screen as if you just saw Mawi's Canon Powershot ad or anything equally shocking). I was just wondering, what if I was the unlucky one who got beaten up by those big bad timid fags (sorry Chris for mentioning this, I bet you still have nightmares over this incident). What would my mum's reaction be? No more night outs forever and ever and ever again? Would she pick me up to wherever I go, and pick me home again (extra early at 11.30p.m.)?

I appreciate my mum's love, care and concern over me, and I am really thankful for having such a great mum who brought me up so well, but somehow, there is a time when you'll have to let the bird flap it's own wings, and let it learn to fly and soar by itself? I do grow up, and I have grown now, and I do think I need my personal space, and most of all, I need my personal life.

Mum, if you're reading this, (though I know you'll never read this cuz you don't even know your son has a blog) I wanna tell you that I love you. Thank you for loving me too. But I cant live my whole life like this. I need to distinguish what is good and bad myself; I can't be spoon fed all my life. Let me decide for myself what is best for myself, and if I ever make a wrong decision, I'll learn from my own mistakes and pick myself up. I know who I can turn to anytime at all whenever I need help, and I know you'll alway be there. Its time for me to grow up myself and learn life's lessons hands-on.

Boy, do I sound depressed or what?

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Blank

For once in my life, I have nothing to write about. A friend once told me that my blog is full of complains, criticisms, and my frets about life, the education system, Johor, the drink seller that overcharge me, the tiny peeble in my shoe and just about anything at all. (Translated: rubbish.) I found it quite true: I write alot of trash. I am quite talkative when I type (do you call it typative?). BUT.. The situation is a lil different now.
I am blank in my head.
I have no bad comments about things, anything at all.
I am speechless (or do you call it wordless?). Up til this point when I'm typing this, my mind is distracted by the presence of a hot girl in white top here in 3G cafe. (She's sitting right next to me.. Omigosh)

*tag *tag

Sorry for the interuption. Okay, I'm still speechless. I have nothing to write about.

Betty bought a butter but the butter was bitter, so Betty bought a better butter to make the bitter butter better.

Urm.. Peter picked pickles bla bla bla.

Oh look! Arsenal 3, West Brom 1! Whoa.

Okay. Say it with pictures. A picture paint a thousand words.
Oh no Fred. Too bad you can't enter my Block. Stay away!
Eew. Thats one dinner I dont wanna be at.

Up til this point, I'm still blank. Why?
Have I lost the touch?
Hopefully no.
Am I becoming more matured, that I dont just write about silly stuff anymore?
No, I think.
Am I dyslexic?
No way!
Am I too happy to be home, everything seems to be so perfectly beautiful, there's nothing bad about anything at all, Wan Yean feels so much at home, he's got everything he need here, and he need not blog to pass the time?
Bingo.

Columbia: A True Story

Venue: Wisma Atria, Singapore.
Date: 1st April 2006
Time: 4.15p.m

I was having my late lunch at Subway when I saw this right across where I was sitting. Hands gatal, I decided to get my ass off the seat and snap a photo of it.


Good thing:
1) My phone is a camera phone.
Mistake:
1)It is a Sony Ericsson k700i that produces a loud clicking sound whenever I snap photos with it.
2)People might think I'm from a rival company that is trying to steal the shirt's design.
3)I'm in Singapore, I dont wanna end up in the police station for questioning and be further detained for the next 48hrs for investigations.

Too late. Too smart. Too handsome. Too good looking. Oops.. Sorry I went overboard.. I snapped the photo. The salesperson looked at me with curiousity. The security guard stared right into my face, with their hands gripping firmly on their batons. The shoppers stopped and paused, with some gasping, thinking in their mind: God, this boy is so detained.

Its like a scene from the Rush Hour movie. I dashed straight for the lift, just wishing to get the hell out of there, but its a lil too late. 2 security guards were already there before me, 2 more were at the escalators. I was desperate. No. I dont wanna spend the night in a Singapore lock up. No! I have to escape! I'm gonna jump. Wait. I'm at the ground floor. God help me. I'm having flashbacks.
Mummy.
Daddy.
My red motorcycle.
My laptop.
My fcuk shirt and my levi's red loop (wait a minute, I'm wearing my red loop gawdammit).
My hot stuff.
My blog.
Can I blog from the prison?
What would I request for as my last meal before I go thru the electric chair execution?
Will I get into heaven?
Will I meet Elvis there?
Or Bruce Lee?

.
.
.
.

I was let off with a warning, and told to blur the picture with the T-shirt designs on. That's why I'm still here. That's why I'm still posting fictional bullcraps.

Friday, April 14, 2006

P E N A N G

The air smells bettter
The food tastes tastier
The clothes fit better
The Frappucino Rhumba venti seems larger
The ais kacang is colorful-er
The fruits taste sweeter
The khor-kuas taste bitter-er
The Pringles are crispier
The people are cooler
The girls look chio-er
The houses are costlier
The wan tan mees are cheaper
The char koay teows are oilier
The roads are straighter
The phone lines are clearer
The toilet seats are cleaner
The car air conditioner is warmer
The night seems longer
The English spoken is fluent-er
The music sounds nicer
The wi-fi connection seems faster
Wan Yean seems cheerful-er, brighter and happier

Monday, April 10, 2006

Traces Of You

Found all these recently when I did my revision for my Math test. Didn't realise that it has always been there, and were never rubbed off. Something that I started, and never continued.




In the midst of all the complex equations and integrations, surprisingly it prevailed. Sometimes some things have been there all along, just that we fail to realise its existence. Now that I have found it back, it brings back alot of forgotten smiles and memories to me, and I'm so glad it appeared to me again right now at this moment. More new memories to be made, more paper space for me to draw and write on, a whole brand new start ahead of me, burdens of painful memories thrown behind, and I know I can carry on because I have found what I lost back then.

It won't be erased, it can't be erased; and I simply can't afford it.
(Erasers are expensive)

UTM Is So Cool

I am convinced now that the university that I am in is really a unique, cool and special one; judging from the activities that they carry out. I came across this outside my Metro Lab one day, pasted on the notice board.


Cool. UTM students having their own idol competition. Wait.. Is it even a competition? Sounds more like a fashion show to me. I wonder, what kinda fashion did they parade on that day..


Hmm... Interesting. Oh, and maybe some of these too..


Oh wait wait.. I think it'll be alot more easier if we just do this:

(Insert face)
Thats it! Simple! So no need to fret if you missed the event.

And then, as I looked on, I saw another one... Horrifying one..

Coo... Urm. Oh my. I'm so disturbed. I dont mean to insult anybody at all here, its just... I AM REALLY DISTURBED!!

Is this supposed to be funny and make me laugh? Cuz I'm not laughing at all! GAWD I'm traumatised..

But then, all of a sudden, the thought just came to me... Guys, I bet you can't find THIS in your unis! Hell yeah! And that makes my uni COOLER than any of yours! In case if your uni do conduct this, then i guess we'll have to settle the score by having a culling competition! Yeah then we'll know then which uni is better, cooler! Bwahahahaha!!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Music Scene

Music nowadays have changed so much since those good ol' boy band days. When girls still hang posters of Backstreet Boys and N'SYNC in their room, hell they might even have A1 and 911 Galaxie's posters well pasted on the wall. When all the songs were about how much love they have, how painful it was to be apart, how some of them want it their way, and heck, all of them have clean images. I still remember; on the CD cover of Backstreet Boys album, where Brian (is there any Brian in BSB?) even quoted some verse from the Bible. The worse it'll ever get would be the boys singing about how they wanna bid their "bye"s to their girls not once, but three times. Yup, those were the songs that kids singed about passionately, danced to in classes and gatherings (Backstreet's Back was a huge dance hit back then, and girls will scream to it when guys perform that particular dance). Cursing in a song was totally vulgar, unacceptable and demonic. That was the music scene back then.

And now. If you're ever spotted buying a BSB album or even download their songs from LimeWire, you would most probably get a good blank stare from whoever that spotted you doing so, and then 5 seconds later, this would probably come out from his/her mouth:

"Aye niggah! Ya listenin' dat shit? Man those fakers aint real! Those sissy tunes, busta! You aint down with da Dee-Goo-Double G? GEEE yuu nith!? You a fag man! For shizzle dizzle my izzey!"

Talking bout keepin' it real. Now dont misunderstand me, I do enjoy rap music, very much indeed. Its just that recently I found out that songs are getting more and more tasteless. They have nice groovy beat and tunes, but when it comes to the lyrics, its just plainly plain. For example: Kevin Lyttle's Turn Me On. Rupee's Tempted To Touch. Juelz Santana's There It Go. All of them are real catchy songs.

The lyrics are just so shallow. No build ups, just straight to the point.

Turn me on.
Kiss and carress me.
Take off them clothes.
Tempted to touch.

Just too direct. Its like:

Coke without the gas.
Food without the appetizer.
Cake without the icing.
Sex without the foreplay.

C'mon. If you wanna sing about sex, guys, at least, keep it real stylo. Like how Usher, Snoop Dogg, Beyonce and Sean Paul do it. Still, those are nice songs though. =)

And lets talk about love songs. Back then, you can just dedicate any boy band hit to your significant other. Now. You try to look for one plain simple love song. It'll be as equally hard to look for a Malay girl without tudung here in UTM.

Nelly's Dilemma. Singing about his fascination over his neighbour's wife.
Frankie J's Obsession. He is obsessed with another guy's girl.
James Blunt's You're Beautiful. He is a plain nutcase. Look up the lyrics yourself.

I think I'm too old for all this already. Anybody knows what is the frequency for Light & Easy over here in Johor?

Monday, April 03, 2006

My mind's made up by the way that I feel

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Mr & Mrs Chen

So it happened last Saturday. My sister is officially Tommie's wife. No more Miss Tan. Its Mrs Chen. Nope, not gonna write about how I feel, how was the event and all that. Just gonna post some pictures.


RM100 per wife. Buy 3 free 1 (Muslims only) Nah just kidding. What, you think my sister is worth only that much?
Huh? What?! You mean sex in public is an offence in Malaysia even for married couples?

Maka kami! Rakyat Malaysia! Berjanji dan bersetia..! The point of no return.


The happy newly-weds showing off their Cartier wedding bands and their RM80 wedding certificates.

Top 5 songs Tommie cannot/dont have to listen to anymore from that day onwards:

5. Akon - Lonely... I'm Mr Lonely... I have nobody... I'm on my own...

4. Roxette - It must have been love, but its o-ver now, it must have been good, but I lost it somehow...

3. Blue - One for the money and tha, free rides, two for the lies that you deny, all rise! All rise! (Uh, uh)

2. Elvis Presley - Oh please release me, let me go... For I just don't love you anymore..

1. Pussycat Dolls - Dont cha wish ur wifey is hot like me?? Dont cha wish ur wifey is rawww like me?

Top 5 songs that my sis cannot/dont have to listen to anymore from that day onwards:

5. Joan Jett - I hate mah-self for lervin' you! Can't break free from the things that chu do!

4. LL Cool J ft J Lo - You got, you got, you got, what it take to make me leave my man..

3. Kelly Clarkson - Here I am, once again.. I’m torn into pieces, can't deny it, cant pretend.. (actually the whole of Kelly's album, Breakaway, should be ranked here; not only this song.)

2. Trina & Kelly Rowland - Here we go, here we go again, now you telling me, that she is just a friend

1. Michael Learns To Rock - Boy I miss your kisses, all the time but this is, 25 minutes too late..