Friday, March 31, 2006

What The Heck?

Material Science. Superb subject with superb lecturer. The lecturer, well, how do I describe him. Basically, he is a PhD holder, and speaks English quite fluently, and he likes to drag the "s" tone whenever he speakssssssssss. Yes, something like that. 3 incidents happened in his class that got me or thau (black head).

1st incident: Before the afternoon class
Lec: Alright classssss, assss you all know, tu-nightthh we'll have a replaceeement classsss.. WHERE IS WONG? WONG?? (His eyes rolled to and fro while my friend, Fei Zai Wong was trembling at that moment) Hmm.. Ahh there he issss! (Points at ME!) Your friend WONG hasssss requessssted for 4 hrs of relecture tonight, so it'll be from 8 to 12. (The whole class stares at me, some might even wanna beat me up while I am totally puzzled).

What the heck? Firstly, my name is not WONG. Where did he get that idea from? Wong Fei Hung? If he watched Fearless, I wonder would he call me HUO (Huo Yuan Jia). Next, I did not ask for a 4 hr replacement class. I was confused.

2nd incident: During the afternoon class (topic: polymers)
Lec: So polymerssss have three tensile ressssponssseeeessssss: They can either be brittle, plasssstic orrrr rubbery. (Whole class nods, lecturer walks up to me)

Lec: (While staring at me) You like rubber?

Me: Huh?

Lec: You like rubber?

(I was totally blank)

Me: Uhh, no.?

Lec: Good for you.

What the heck again?? Grgrrr.


3rd incident: During the night class (topic: polymers)
Lec: Who can tell me what isssss the difffrrrrennccccce between fiber and particlessssss?
YOU! (Points at a regular Joe)

Regular Joe 1: Urrhhhh.... fiber is strong.

Lec: WHAT?! YOU!! (Points at another regular Joe)

Regular Joe 2: Particle tu... (Hand gesture like holding a tiny ball)

Lec: C'MON ussse your common senssssseee! YOU! (Points at a good looking hunk, so happen it
was me)

Me: Urmmm... fibers are like strings..

Lec: Yesssss, and then??

Me: Particle... like bijik-bijik....
(Whole class laughs)

What the hecking heck?!
Define particle? I cant believe I actually answered that question that way.

I'm having my Material Science test tonight.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Take A Wild Guess

You are only eligible to Take A Wild Guess if you're not a Singaporean, or Johor resident that travels frequently to Singapore.


In your opinion, and by using your own judgement and discernment, what do you think that place is ( The one with loads of people crowded outside, with purple neon lights on and the word 'ROCK' on top of it.)

A. A club by the name of ROCK that operates 24 hrs a day, mostly with live band performances on.

B. A pub by the name of ROCK that opererates 24 hrs a day, where the waitresses are clad in leather jackets and tight leather skirts.

C. An auditorium by the name of ROCK where local and international acts (I think its Simple Plan) perform gigs, the place to be for rock music fest.

D. A restaurant by the name of ROCK (whoa this is the fourth time I'm typing this) that serves Jamaican food (yes, Jamaican) using plates, bowls and cutleries that is made out of rock.

What yer wild guess might be?

Well, if you picked any of the answer above, then congratulations, you're wrong. Beyond your wildest imaginations, guys, that is actually a CHURCH. A wha..? Yes, a church by the name of New Creation Church (not ROCK), situated somewhere in Singapore. Nope, no ushers in tight leather jeans, no Simple Plan worship band, no Jamaican refreshments served, its a church. And dare you say that churches are plain and simple and boring. In your face!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Just Because He Is Lee Hom.

Recently Taiwanese heartrob pop/hip-hop/R&B/chinked-out (huh?) artist Lee Hom made his album promo here in Malaysia, and thousands of girl fans and their pissed off boyfriends must have enjoyed seeing him perform for FREE. Not really free though, you actually had to buy his album, or send some SMS thing or God knows what to get passes to see him sing like, 4 songs from his album.

No, it is perfectly fine to adore him, to grope after him, and to be among the thousands that screamed in excitement when he was singing, because he is cute. Yeah, cute guys gets all the attention in the world, and thats a fact, though you might be already in your late 20s. And no, I didn't attend his mini concert thingy, cuz Johor was not on his mind. Too bad to those Johor ah-liens. And even the ah-bengs. Me? No, I'm not a big fan. I do listen to his song, and I do quite like some of it. Thats all. Plus I think its pretty gay for me to adore him, grope after him? Eew.

I decided to check out his pictures taken by his self-proclaimed "wives" and some other blogs. Well well, was I surprised to see him wearing such simple plain clothes on stage, since he is trying to be a lil hippy-hoppy nowadays.

Photo credit: mysabah.com
This is Mr. Chinked Out in Sabah.. Notice the bling-blings.

Now, picture of him touring Sarawak:

Photo credit: kennysia.com
And Penang:
Photo credit: Kah Yin's Friendster Pic

Now he got me wondering. What kinda exotic t-shirts does Mr Hom Hom have other than the two that he wore? Maybe one day I'll see him on stage with these on?
Cute Lee Hom, cute bear. Suits him.

Cold hard truth; lesson learnt: As long as you're famous/cute/good looking/popular, you can sing anything/make any statement/wear anything you want and get away with it. Heck, even Kenny Sia complemented him:

"Clad in simple T-shirt, jeans, and a "bling" around his neck, Lee Hom appeared rather humble for a star of his stature."

If I wore that H A P P Y t-shirt out, with a larger than life chain around my neck, I wonder what kinda feedback will I get from people.

"Clad in that silly chapelang pasar malam T-shirt, jeans and a "dog chain" around his neck, Wan Yean really like to make a fool out of himself for a teenager of his age."

This is life.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

So They Think I Am A Plain Punk...

And I'm friggin' pissed. Who are they? Those administrative monkey-brained lazy sluggards in the Co-Curricular Department. Out of all the choices I did, they insisted to give me my choice number 4. Okay, so its not my fifth choice, thank God, or else I'll start cursing, but then again, what the hell??! The story goes.

I handed up my form on Thursday morning, heck I dont remember the date. With lotsa hope that I'll get to ride horses or at least swing my hands around with a squash racquet in hand. Or even fry eggs and sausages on a frying pan while wearing an apron. Heck, I was full of smiles. And so the story goes.

News came out that the results are out. Took a look, oh what luck, I got choice 4. CHOICE FOUR!!! FOUR!!! Self grooming? Social Ethics? Heck, I handed my form on THURSDAY MORNING!! Okay, I'm pissed, but still in control. The story continues.

I heard from most of my friends that they got their first pick. My roommate, coursemates, most of them got what they really wanted. Fine. They handed in their forms on Wednesday evening, so its sorta fair. Though I'm a lil disappointed with what I got, I'm still fine. Last paragraph of my story.

My 3rd floor friends... SMM kids, DotA kakis, placed Archery as their first choice and Equestrian as their second. And they handed in their forms on Thursday too, morning or afternoon, I dont know. But i was sure I handed mine quite early, almost definitely earlier than them. And guess what. They got EQUESTRIAN. ALL OF THEM. 2ND CHOICE. 2Lan 2D max. Why? Do them guys really think that I cant ride a horse? Of course I cant, and because I cant, I wanna learn! Damn pissed. But in the end, I only had myself to blame. Why did I choose that shit as my fourth choice? Cuz I never thought that I'll get that? True. Silly me.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

More Than Just A Nice Sight And Additional Weight

Recently sent thru the e-mails to me by Joseph..Believe it or not, who cares. No wonder those old hamsap coffee-sipping ah-peks at the kopitiams are still alive til this very day. And guys, we have a real good reason to stare now. Remember to print this out and keep it in your wallet and carry it wherever you go, you bloody perverts. Girls, I dont know what to say.. Let your man glance and check on it? Be glad that you are helping your man stay healthy just by being... busty? Whoohoo.. Hot hot hot. And healthy.

Friday, March 17, 2006

My Top 5 Choices: Co-Curricular Activites

I recently registered for my Co-Curricular activities for the next semester. Write down what you wanna join, and they'll consider this and that, and they MIGHT just give you your first choice, or maybe the 2nd or 3rd, 4th or even 5th, or if you're really lucky, you might even end up with nothing at all. Well, these are my top 5 choices:
1. Equestrian
Yes, horses. And yes, they do have real, alive and kicking horses here in UTM.

WHY:
When I was young, I've always wanted to ride a horse.. I think.
Yee-haw!
Hmm.. Actually, aint that young huh.
Plus, I think that this is the only time, best time to do things like this, learn how to ride on a horse, and all the cool things that I might not have an opportunity to learn in the future.

DOWNSIDE:
Sore, swollen testicles. That's what everyone said to me when they heard about my intentions of taking this up. But this is just an assumption that everyone make. C'mon, guys, don't tell me that every horse jockeys, olden days knight-in-shining-armor, Mel Gibson, Viggo, Mortensen and Heath Ledger have swollen oversized balls?

BEFOREHAND PREPARATIONS:
Watching Seabiscuit might help... I think. All the equipments are provided I guess, so that means I only have to buy my own testicle guard. Ball guard. Haha.

2.SQUASH
Future millionaire.
WHY:
Whacking balls against the wall in a small tiny room can help relieve stress, according to experts. And earn you RM500,000++ plus two condominiums if you're real good at it and earn the world title, according to economists and coffee-sipping ah-peks at the nearby kopitiam. Plus, Nicol David has proven to the world that Penangnites have a God-given hidden talent inside each and every one of them to whack 'em balls real hard.

DOWNSIDE:
I have NEVER touched the racquet not even once in my entire lifetime. Can't differentiate between a squash racquet and a tennis racquet.

BEFOREHAND PREPARATIONS:
First, learn how to differentiate between a tennis and squash racquet. Then buy a squash racquet. Lift weights. Lock myself in my room to get used to the almost similiar four walls that I'll face in the court. Learn the rules of the game. Search the Internet for information and tactics and maybe even a coach. Get myself focused. I'd do anything for that RM500,000++ and two condominiums.

3. CATERING
Food food food

WHY:
So that I can do more than just this?
This one tastes quite good though.
I heard they teach how to make pizzas, chicken chop, bake cakes, etc there (means I'll get to eat eat eat!). Yes, they dont only teach you how to fry Nasi Goreng Kampung or Mee Bandung. Guys that can cook are hot cakes that sells, according to Fred. That means all the chefs in hotels and restaurants have the hottest girlfriends/wives. Hmmm... why the heck am I here trying to earn an engineering degree then?

DOWNSIDE:
I might meet her.
Heck, I might meet them all!

BEFOREHAND PREPARATIONS:
Buy myself an apron. Seek my mum's advice, buy a few cook book? Shouldn't be that tough. But don't ask me how to face the downside. I have no idea how to cook right with those numerical girls around.

4. SELF GROOMING & SOCIAL ETHICS
I hope I translated that correctly.

WHY:
To get the right attention and be a chick magnet.
How did he do it? Hell I wanna know! Joon Kee with his trademark bald head and huge shades.
Do I need another reason after pondering upon that picture? Well, if you insist.. Urm.. So that I wont ever do this in public, and even worse, in front of a camera:
He told me his favorite song is Kanye West's Gold Digger.

DOWNSIDE:
"Boys, please trim your hair for goodness sake no coloured hair in this room please! Yes, please would you please dye it black, boy? And you there, would you please tuck in your shirt? It is so rude of you to leave your shirt hanging loose untucked."

BEFOREHAND PREPARATIONS:
Trim my hair, buy nerdy polo tee shirts and tuck in my shirt?

5. HEALTH & FITNESS

WHY:
Explaination is unnecessary. Pictures paint a thousand words.
Whoa.
Whoo. (Except for that...you know.)
And also (hopefully) I'll be able to achieve this bod..
If I have that body... I will be topless everywhere I go.

DOWNSIDE:
Cold hard truth.
Eek!
Aaaaaaaarrrrr?!
Lets move on before I have second thoughts and regret and mourn for making this my fifth choice.

BEFOREHAND PREPARATION:
Start fasting and praying everyday that I won't get this! Anything at all but this! I rather have nothing at all rather than... this!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Truth About Blogging

Advantages of Blogging
  1. Learn to write. Yes, essay assignments and homeworks will be a breeze to complete.
  2. The privilege to be called a blogger.
  3. Write those stress away. Write about any shit that happens, any pent up anger or just as a tool to let your friends or that special someone know that you're having a bad day. You can get all the right attention through what you write.
  4. As another thing that you can do when you're online rather than just logging into friendster.com and soccernet.com.
  5. Polish up your English. Or French. Or Bahasa Malaysia. Or whatever language that you're using for your blog.
Keys To A Successful Blog
  1. Get registered in a community of bloggers, where you can create a name for yourself among viewers (for example: blogs.thestar.com.my, etc).
  2. Less words, more pictures. Yes, that way you'll win the hearts of lazy bums, dyslexic Internet users and uneducated old uncles that are surfing for porn.
  3. Increase your font size, for goodness sake. It is much more pleasant to the eyes, and less stressful for older viewers and spectacle wielding geeks.
  4. Stop ranting about your day. Stop writing about how you wake up in the morning, and how you go to bed at night. Who would be interested in reading, even your friends would wanna skip through them and leave a comment for you just to clear their conscience.
  5. Write about happening things. Bigfoot, Prophet Muhammad's caricature, Jusco Tebrau, birthday celebrations in UTM, the recent Singaporean's sex video and so much more. Start a controversy. That'll be ultimately cool. Just don't blog your way into prison.
  6. Criticise more. Compliment less.

Trust me, 1000 viewers per day in 6 months time.

Disadvantages Of Having A Successful Blog

But then again, it'll be a burden for you then. Always trying to come up with ideas on how to post new entries, sleepless nights, hours and hours in front of the computer monitor, can't write what you really want to cuz you have to please the viewers and not you or else they might just instead visit kennysia.com, adding more stress towards your already stressful enough life, more hair to drop off your head, eyebags, dull appearance, to sum it all up, you will be totally messed up and wrecked.

Summary

I was just bull-shitting. =)

Just Pictures Part II

Lau Ban! CHAR KWEK TEOW yi phan!
A coffee shop in Taman Universiti.

Ang Mo: Excuse me sir, can you please explain what is written on the sign?
Malaysian: Oh, it says, "Please take care of the toilet's cleanliness. Please pull water after using the toilet."
Toilet at the bus station in Sungai Nibong, Penang.


They must be really reluctant to give out free parking untill the point where they start to misspelled words.
Jusco Tebrau City Red Box.

Cute!
MNG Outlet in City Square, JB.

This is on every door that leads to the staircase in my hostel.

WTV presents Room Raiders

Ladies and gentlemen. For all of you eager beavers who wanna know how life is over here in UTM for me, what kinda environment I am in, what kinda room I'm staying in, how my room looks like and all that, well, here you go. the entry that will answer all your questions and doubts and kaypo-ness. Here I proudly present you Room Raiders brought to you by me. Pardon the low quality pictures, it is taken by my 0.3 mega pix handphone camera. Better than nothing right.. Here we go..

The scenic view from the main road. Yes, that is my hostel block, K11. Not far now...

Cool leh. Look like Silverton huh. Haha no, its nowhere near that. Arrow pointing towards my room, at the fourth floor.

Yes, if you actually lift up your eyes (and head) you can actually see my window from down there. During laundry days you can actually see some shirts hanging on the window pane. And if I get to stressed up I might just leap off from there. Nah just kidding.

Now, look straight forward again, and you'll see... bicycles. Yes. And the lift that will take you up to the fourth floor, where the hunk stays. Hahaha.

The lift. As you can notice, there are two boxes next to it. Rubbish bin? No. Recycling bin? No. Trash? No. Business opportunity? Yes. I'm serious.

Check it out. Kerepek Kari, Kerepek Pedas, Kerepek Masin, Kerepek Jagung, RM1.00 sahaja. Smaller foot note: Ya Allah, jauhkanlah kami daripada pencuri-pencuri yang mengganggu urusan kami.
I really wonder now whether are they making money out of this. I mean, UTM students are that honest? If Fred Goh is around...

Alright, so, step into the lift, press (4), and once you get out, this will be the view before you. Man, I'm like a tour guide huh directing all you guys (and some anonymous viewers that might have a great crush on me) to my room. Dangerous.
1: Where I was standing earlier to take the first picture.

Yes yes, after that right turn, walk a little further, and then when u meet this junction, just turn left! Complicated? Turn right, turn left, turn here there everywhere. Ain't that complicated, just remember the formula.. Turn right, then left!

Lo and behold, this will be the entrance, the door that you must pass, the mother of all doors, into the dark corridor ahead, where the pleasant prince reside. Walk with courage and boldness, for the very sight of the cute hunk at the end of the corridor is worth all the effort you need to put in.

On the left: The balcony. =)

Ahead of you: Long narrow corridor with lots of doors. Something like a scene from The Matrix movie? The toilet is at the end of the corridor, on the right. Very near very convenient. Alright chicks. Remember: 3rd door on your left! Go ahead and open it!

Welcome! You have made it to my humble dwelling place! The two cupboards on both sides, mine is on the right with all the shirts hung on it. Up ahead: Mariah Carey looking fine as February's calendar girl.

On top of the cupboard, you asked? The tiny pail: my toiletries. Huge pail: Smelly clothes to be washed. Boxes: Trash like old books, etc.

On your right: My bed! Best place in UTM. I love bed. Bed bed bed.

Next to the bed, you asked? Sitting at the corner of the floor: My anaesthetic shot. Pleasant sleep every night guaranteed. And sometimes complimentary loud snoring. Teddy Dream's scent from Lovely Lace, Alladdin lighter from Meranti Arcade, lantern from Jusco.

Enter thru the two cupboards, and on your right, my study space. Everything is compacted here. My books, entension wires, water kettle, table decorations, toilet paper, all on this one table. Why is the clock facing the other way? Simply because, its batteries are low. It has been telling the wrong time, and so, go face the wall and reflect and feel sorry over what you did!

Look to the left: March calendar girl, dunno who is she. Doesn't matter. When you're so stressed and worned out, glance over, take a deep breath, and miraculously you'll feel much much better. Good stress therapy.

Look a lil lower, below the calendar, there you go: A so-called rubbish bin, my helmet, and my roommate's toiletries. Such a contrast. Rubbish bin and toiletries.

On the bottom right: Compartments.
1: Food storage compartment. Milo, CNY cookies, instant noodles, etc.
2: Kitchen. Where I keep my bowls and mug and cutleries. And my daily supplement that I don't take daily.
3: Entertainment Center. Shhhh.... Don't tell anyone... My stacks of DVDs and songs/games CDs.. What pirated ah. Original wan lah of course! Haiyah! I don't support piracy okay? I'm a good citizen of Malaysia!
4: Secret stuff compartment. Where my porn magazines are kept at.

Porn magazine? Where? Where? Ohh.. I made a terrible mistake. No porn magazine (sadly), just documents important to me (yes, that includes the FHM magazine there), and some medicine (Panadol Actifast, Clarinase, Pil Chi Kit Teck Aun, etc)

That was just a brief introduction of my room, and how to get there. Now lets get down to business. Time to unravel my cupboard, snap photos of my undies, search around for sex toys, condoms or lingeries (if you can find any I'll be shocked myself)! Yes! Lets do that! I can hear all the girls screaming in excitement already! But wait. You think I'm actually gonna snap photos of my own undies and post it on the Internet? AHAHAHA. No, no, and no. I'm not outta my mind yet. Yes, I am still very sane. Really desperate to see them? Okay, I tell you what. Come to my room and see them yourself. Hehe. Yes, this is the end of this long entry about my crib, my room. Heck, I'm moving out in May already. So enjoy the pictures before this entry is outdated. And chicks that wanna sneak up into my room can gimme a ring in advance first and I'll assist you when you're climbing in thru the window.